These Jokes are here because we believe that everybody needs a good laugh.
These Jokes are not always "Politically Correct". Hyper-sensitive people or those who are easily
offended should go elsewhere! We
avoid flat-out bigotry but we'll poke a Jokr or two at any stereotype.
If you can laugh at yourself as well at others then you should enjoy them.
Remember, they're here for your fun. If they offend you then don't bitch at
us! We warned you!
Four Cajuns were sitting around a campfire near the Atchafalaya Basin. They
were "philosophizing" on what was the fastest thing in the
world.
Boudreaux said, "I tink de fassest ting in the werld is a 'tought',
because before you ken tink of it it's already tought."
Thibodeaux said, "No, the fassest ting in the werld is a 'blink' because
before you ken tink about it you dun blunk already."
Alfonse said, "No, the fassest ting in the werld is lectricity because
when you turn dat light switch on de lectricity travels fass-fass and the lights
come on before you know it."
T-Boy said, "Ya'll all wrongg, the fassest ting in the werld is
diarrhea."
Everyone asked, "Diarrhea?!"
T-Boy said, "Yea, lass night before I could tink, blink, or turn on de
lights, I don shit in ma pants."
Received via email - author - unknown.
New
Diet
My doctor has put me on a new diet. It's a wine and vegetable diet. It really
works after being on it for 30 days I lost 10lbs and my driver's license.
Phil........Akron Ohio
Mail?
One day this man was outside mowing his grass and notices his cute, blonde, neighbor
walk outside and check her mailbox. There was nothing in it so she storms back
inside. An hour later he sees her check it again and then she storm back inside.
Then he thinks doesn't she know it's Sunday? after that he just goes back to
mowing his lawn. Half an hour later he glimpses over and sees her checking it
again so he decides to go over there and ask her why she's so mad. So he does
and she says my dam computer keeps on saying I've got mail.
Received via email - author - unknown.
The
Real Three Bears Story!
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks
into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!",
he squeaks. Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He
looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. Who's been eating my
Porridge?!!,"he roars. Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch
from the kitchen and yells, "Good Grief! how many times do we have to go
through this with you 2 idiots? It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma
Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it
was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything
away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the
newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the damn table, it was Momma Bear who put
the friggin cat out ,cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food
dish, and, now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs, and
grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I'm
only going to say this one more time. I HAVEN'T MADE THE F#*#*** PORRIDGE YET !!